Drabble Soup For The Zutarian Soul
by K. East
Summary: A collection of very random, hopefully funny Zutara drabbles. ZK A “– and she starts screaming like I was killing her –”
1. Just Like Daddy

Drabble Soup For The Zutarian Soul

Just Like Daddy

"Ah, Tui forbid we watch a movie without a shootout somewhere in it." Katara rolled her eyes.

"How was I supposed to know it was a war movie?" whined Zuko, burying himself in his sofa as he tried to hide his face from her. His girlfriend, currently leaning against a wall, claimed that he was a warmonger at heart. Just because he happened to like the Blue Spirit video game ("Your alter ego, admit it!")…

"Zuko."

"Umph?"

"The movie is called _Foreign Bullets_."

"So?"


	2. One Step Back, Two Steps Forward

Drabble Soup For The Zutarian Soul

One Step Back, Two Steps Forward

"You are so…_aggh!_" Throwing her fists in the air, the blue-eyed girl stormed off, muttering something about "intolerable" and "stubborn"…leaving one Fire Prince Zuko alone in the marketplace of middle Ba Sing Se.

He had only one thought.

_She's cute when she's angry._


	3. Tenfold Is A Lot

Drabble Soup For The Zutarian Soul

Tenfold _Is_ A Lot

"This tea has been known to enhance chi and increase one's strength tenfold!" The vendor wiggled his eyebrows persuasively.

"Tenfold?" Iroh mused. "Two pounds of it, then. It may be useful in the future."

_One Hour Later_

"Ah! I feel replenished! Energized! I could go out there and take down Lord Ozai! And Azula! Perhaps the Rough Rhinos as well, but only if they are all at the same time, so I don't have to hold back this incredible power I feel! As if I'm walking on clouds and there's-"

"Uncle!"

"Yes, my dear, sweet nephew?" (He must have been feeling particularly daring.)

"What on_ earth_ have you been drinking?"

_Ten Minutes Later_

"Snappy? I'm not snappy! I'm not hyper either. Princes don't get hyper it's not Prince-like now peasants they get hyper because they have no self-discipline and no honor and no shame and hehehehehe I'M NOT SNAPPY!"

"Right," said Katara, eyeing the stricken Zuko as he paced around "Team Avatar's" apartment. Iroh was off somewhere looking for crime to fight. "Just show me what you drank so I can figure out how to put an end to this."

_Fifteen Minutes Later_

Sokka returned to the apartment to find an overwhelmingly voracious Iroh, wide-eyed and paranoid Zuko, and an elated Katara, who – to his absolute _horror_ – was giggling and attempting to braid Zuko's hair.

It was gonna be a long night.


	4. True Love

Drabble Soup For The Zutarian Soul

True Love

The first time he told her, she froze him to a wall.

He got pneumonia.

The second time he told her, she slapped him in the face with a waterwhip.

His forehead was swollen for a week.

The third time he told her, she said, "I love you, too."

"Really?" he asked.

"No," and she promptly hit him over the head with a rock.


	5. Yes, There Is

Drabble Soup For The Zutarian Soul

Yes, There Is

"You got lucky, Zuko," mourned Aang. "There's nothing worse than unrequited love."

"Yes, there is," said Zuko darkly.

"Like what?"

The prince sighed.

"There's the way she tells you to do it but does it herself,  
The way she takes every chance to prove that she's strong,  
The way she spends every moment worried over your health,  
The way each time you're right, she tells you you're wrong.

The way those blue eyes can fill you with guilt,  
As if you're a monster who's broken her heart,  
The way she breaks down every wall you have built,  
And knows just how she can rip you apart.

The way, when you fight, she sees when she's lost,  
But knows you'll surrender anyway,  
The way she'll take any ammo you tossed  
And use it against you everyday."

"Is there anything _good_ about it?" cried Aang, horrified.

"Oh yeah." Zuko grinned. "Making up."


	6. That's Gotta Hurt

Drabble Soup For The Zutarian Soul

That's Gotta Hurt

Iroh watched the couple from a safe distance. _They're so cute together,_ squealed one part of his mind. _And perfect for each other,_ it added.

Zuko and Katara were arguing about something or another. _Hehehe_, Iroh chuckled._ She's got guts, I'll give her that._ The Water Tribe girl was up in a bewildered Zuko's face, hair flying free as she stamped her foot and gestured wildly around her. Zuko raised his hands as if trying to placate her, then, as Katara's ranting continued, proceed to turn red in the face and return it with a very frustrated, very explosive series of shouts and yells. Iroh couldn't hear much, but what he _did_ hear was laced with words he would rather not repeat.

_Oh, dear,_ thought Iroh, as the at-first frozen Katara began visibly twitching in fury. _Zuko's not handling this very well. Maybe I ought to-_

But he couldn't, because there was a sudden, high-pitched yell of pain, and he blinked just in time to see his nephew collapse to the ground, clutching at his unmentionables.

Iroh shook his head sadly as Katara stormed off. Zuko was left groaning in pain on the cold dirt.

_There go the grandkids._


	7. Klutz

Drabble Soup For The Zutarian Soul

**Klutz**

"Oof!" Katara glanced up, then narrowed her eyes. The Fire Lord. "Watch it, Zuko."

"_Me_, watch it?" he snarled. _Peasant._ "You're the one who ran into me. You're such a klutz."

"Oh?" She suddenly stepped closer, tilting her head up at him.

Zuko gulped. She was so close…the dark skin of her neck was incredibly smooth looking…_What is that?_ Looking down, he vaguely realized her hand was on his arm.

_Oh, gods…_She was trailing her fingers down his arm. _So close._ A low, guttural moan escaped from somewhere in his throat. _Damn body betraying me._

Katara smirked and laid a hand on his chest, pushing him back. With an _oomph_, Zuko fell flat on his butt.

"Thought so," laughed Katara, as the uncomprehending Lord Zuko blinked wordlessly. _How did I get down here?"_

"Klutz."


	8. Bigger Fish

Drabble Soup For The Zutarian Soul

**Bigger Fish**

_Everyone told him, when he learned Mai had agreed to help Azula, that there were other fish in the sea._

"I found a bigger fish," he murmured to himself as he wrapped Katara in a tender embrace.

"What was that?" Katara leaned away and fixed him with a curious look.

"Nothing."

"No, I heard something," she insisted.

"Uh…I…" he laughed nervously. "All I said was I found a bigger fish."

"…bigger…b- _fish_?" Katara spluttered. "Wait – Are you calling me _fat_?"

A/n: chants Zu-ko's in trou-ble! Zu-ko's in trou-ble!


	9. Starting Anew

Drabble Soup For The Zutarian Soul

**Starting Anew**

"It's okay, I've got a plan," hissed Katara as she and Zuko stood back-to-back, surrounded by Dai Li agents.

"Uh huh." There was a metallic scraping as he slid his twin sabers from their sheath. "And what would that be?"

"You let them beat you up while I run for my life," supplied the girl.

Everyone froze.

"That was a little different," muttered a brave Dai Li.

"YOU'D _BETTER_ RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!" yelled Zuko, and the chase was on.


	10. Jailhouse Rock

Drabble Soup For The Zutarian Soul

Jailhouse Rock

"Put it away." Katara glared.

"Why?"

"Because."

"I'm horrible."

"I'm not saying that."

"Are too."

"Fine. You're horrible. Now would you please put it away?!"

"No," mused Zuko. "We're finally somewhere where you can't hide, so...I don't think I will."

"I hate you."

"I know."

"More so, I hate being stuck in this stupid cell with you."

"Feeling's mutual. Some people just don't appreciate art. I used to be one of them."

"Just put the damn thing away!"

"Somebody missed naptime..." Zuko smiled and continued his rendition of _Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star_ on the tsungi horn.


	11. Lispy Lisp Lisp

Drabble Soup For The Zutarian Soul

Lispy Lisp Lisp

"Hey, Zuko?" Katara smiled pleadingly as she leaned into the Firebender's shoulder. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Probably." His voice was bored. As usual.

"Where'd you get that lisp?"

"Huh?" The prince visibly straightened, looking indignant. "I don't have a lisp!"

"Yeah, you do," chorused five voices.

"Do not!" insisted Zuko. He glared into the fire. "What gives you that idea?"

"We can hear it now," pointed out Katara.

"I can't," retorted the boy stubbornly.

"Oh, come on, listen to yourself," said Sokka. He drawled in an exaggerated slur:  
I don't have a lithp!"

Zuko twitched.

"It's alright, Zuko," consoled Katara. "I have problems I don't like to admit, too."

"You do?" His voice was hopeful.

The girl grinned widely. "Nope!"


	12. Room For Improvement

Drabble Soup For The Zutarian Soul

Room For Improvement

You know he's new at kissing when:

He bites your chin.

He starts murmuring "It's complicated" while sucking on your lip.

He lifts your head up _by the ears._

He accidentally inhales your hair – through his nose – and starts coughing and snorting.

But it's okay, because she's willing to put in some practice.


	13. It's Not My Fault!

Drabble Soup For The Zutarian Soul

It's Not My Fault!

"Sokka?" He wasn't used to calling the Water Tribe boy by his actual name. It was always _peasant_ or _warrior_ – with a sarcastic snort. But today, sarcasm and insults were a no-no.

"What? If this about the pygmy puma, I already told you-"

"Actually, it's about your sister."

Sokka's reply was without hesitation. "No."

"Huh?" Zuko was taken aback. "Uh, you don't know what I was going to say, though."

"I can guess. Anything pertaining to your involvement with Katara is an automatic no."

"Please?"

"Nuh-uh."

"But-"

"Don't care."

"She-"

"Blah."

"Sokka, don't be stupid." This last comment was from a new voice, a voice from the doorway, a voice belonging to a young woman in long blue robes. Her hands were on her hips and her aura a determined one. "Listen to his question."

"Fine," relented the young man, crossing his arms. "Ask away, your Lordliness."

"Uh…" At the sight of Katara, all Zuko's confidence was drained. "You know, on second thought…ask Katara, she'll tell you." An attempt to scoot out of the room was stopped by a slim, dark hand that grabbed him by the topknot.

"Owowow okay let go!" he whimpered. She complied, and he habitually straightened his little flame-shaped crown.

"I'm waiting."

"You sound just like Master Pakku," laughed Katara, oblivious to the emotional state her beloved was in.

Gritting his teeth, the Fire Lord forced a few precious words out. "I want to marry your sister."

Sokka blinked.

"Ooh, that sounds even better when you say it to Sokka," crooned Katara. "Now that wasn't so hard, was it?" The Firebender just coughed in reply, unsure what would happen next.

Sokka blinked.

"Uh…" Katara giggled. "Sokka, you can talk, you know."

Sokka blinked.

"Sokka?"

Taking this opportunity, Zuko edged out of the room, thankfully not admonished this time. It was only a moment before his fiancée's voice was heard echoing down the hall.

"_ZUKO!_ YOU MADE MY BROTHER FAINT!"

A/n: Heh.

Hehe.

Hehehe.


	14. Please Elaborate

Drabble Soup For The Zutarian Soul

Please Elaborate

"You know," mused Iroh, "sometimes I wish we were back in Ba Sing Se."

"Why? It's where we had to hide our bending," said Zuko.  
"And where we were almost captured by the Dai Li," reminded Sokka.

"And where there were a bunch of rules," Toph complained.

"And where I was nearly killed," Aang added, to great effect.

"And it's where Jet died," said Katara sadly.

Zuko blinked. "Jet?"

Toph laughed loudly. "Looks like you've got some explaining to do, Sugar Queen."


	15. Shivers

Drabble Soup For The Zutarian Soul

Shivers

"Do I really have to wear this?" asked Zuko in disbelief, plucking at the offending outfit he held in his arms: a customary Water Tribe parka, similar to Sokka's. "It's so…bulky."

"My grandmother made it," commented Katara casually, her eyes flickering over at him with an expression that clearly said, _No complaints._

"Not that it isn't a fine piece of clothing," the man said hastily. "Just – I don't really need it."

"Hm, well, I saw what you were wearing at the North Pole. You almost froze to death," reminded his companion.

"Desperate times call for desperate measures."

"More like stupid measures," Katara muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"I think I heard you."

"Then why'd you ask?"

"Because you muttered."

"But you heard me."

"That's not the point. It wasn't an I-didn't-hear-you _what_, it was -"

"Just shut up and put the coat on."

"Do I have to?"


	16. Like A Flash

Drabble Soup for the Zutarian Soul

Like A Flash

Zuko had to go to the bathroom.

Really.

Really.

Badly.

The…er…_accommodations_ on the ship were in full use, so he – naturally – headed for the closest tree.

Whistling, Zuko glanced furtively around the copse before dropping his drawers, and …going about his business.

"Aieeee!"

He jumped, looking up to see the horrified face of the waterbending girl. Her eyes looked like they'd jump out of her head.

Cursing loudly, he sprinted away, leaving behind a stunned girl – and a puddle.


	17. Separate And Similar

Drabble Soup For The Zutarian Soul

Separate And Similar

"We all come from different places, from different cultures. Yet, here at Avatar Community High, I am so proud to graduate with these people…you all. My people, my _family_…we all have nothing but the greatest respect for each other. And I believe that our education here has made us dignified, made us refined, made us-"

Katara stopped in mid-sentence when she saw Zuko waving at her from the third row.

_Oh, Tui spare me…_

He was wearing a Blue Spirit costume.

Mask and all.


	18. Dirty Little Secret

Drabble Soup For The Zutarian Soul

Dirty Little Secret

"Back." A mutter interrupted her thoughts as the door swung open.

"Oh, hi," said a flustered Katara as she held her hands behind her back. "Uh. How was class?"

"Let's just say I really wish I had the day off like you," Zuko grumbled, throwing himself on his bed.

"That's boarding school for you," consoled the girl.

"Hey, what's that?" He pointed at her partly-concealed possession.

"Oh, this?" Katara pulled out a small book to show him and laughed nervously. "Nothing, just some homework."

"Wait," said Zuko, climbing off his bunk. "I've never seen that one before."

"That's because you haven't looked."

"Lemme see that." He reached out, but she yanked it out of sight.

"No."

"Katara, are you hiding something?"

"_No!_"

"Lemme see it then!" In one quick motion he snatched it from her and opened it to the first page, beginning to read. "Dear Diary-"

"_Nooo!_ Don't you_ DARE!_" There was a blur of blue and red as she tackled her roommate. "Ugh!" Katara grunted. "Give…it…back!"

"Never!" laughed Zuko, holding it out of her reach. They tumbled over the floor, each one scrambling to grab the book. Zuko, as the older and stronger of the two, had an obvious advantage – until Katara decided to even things out.

"OW!" yelled Zuko as the girl pulled on his shoulder-length ponytail. "Hell, woman, ease up!"

"Not…until…you…!"

"Just let me see it!"

"No! That's private!"

Just then, there was a knock on the door.

"Katara?" A familiar voice called.

Leaping up, the girl sprinted to the door and flung it open breathlessly. "Yes?"

It was Suki. "Are you alright? I heard noises and-" her gaze slid to Zuko, who was getting up from the floor, looking very ruffled. A sly smile grew on the older girl's face. "Oh, sorry, I didn't know I was interrupting anything."

Katara swiveled to look at Zuko, then back At Suki, eyes wide. "Oh, no, I-"

"Don't worry," called Suki as she practically skipped down the hall. "I won't tell Sokka."


	19. Birthday

Drabble Soup For The Zutarian Soul

Birthday

"Hey." Zuko was curled up on his couch, eyes fixed on the television.

"Hey." Katara flopped down beside him. "Watcha watching?"

"Life of a duck."

"You're boring me," she teased.

"What?" He finally broke his gaze. "It's interesting."

"Duck."

"Yes."

"Uh-huh." Katara grabbed the remote and click it off.

"Hey!"

"Come on," she whined, "it's your birthday. You ought to be doing something fun. Like this." Leaning over, she kissed him softly.

"Oh?" asked he. She kissed him again.

"Yes."

"Well-" he said, in between kisses, "-you've forgotten one thing."

"What's that?" queried Katara, occupied with combing her fingers through Zuko's tied-back hair. She now straddled him, with a girlish grin on her face.

"My birthday isn't until tomorrow."

She blinked. "I can live with that."


	20. Brothers Ruin All The Fun

Drabble Soup For The Zutarian Soul

Brothers Ruin All The Fun

"Hey Toph, have you seen-"

The blind girl sighed.

"Oh – right."

"You know, sometimes you're smarter than you look, Snoozles."

"Gee, thanks! I – hey…"

With a laugh, Toph leapt to her feet and sauntered away. "I'm gonna practice awhile. Sweetness headed out to the village a few minutes ago."

"Thanks!"

"Oh, and Zuko went with her."

"_What?_"

The last Toph heard was an agitated shriek.

Katara sighed. _What was his _problem

He was so irritating. One minute the guy was completely open and, she swore, _flirting_ with her; the next minute he was back to his surly, egotistical self. It never made any sense anymore.

She shrugged her basket higher on her arm to get a better grip on it. Suddenly, she realized he wasn't beside her anymore. Glancing behind her in worry, it didn't take her long to find the former prince in, of all things, a weaponry shop. He had hefted a sword into one hand and was fingering a dagger with the other.

"Oh, no," she said. "No weapons for Li."

He turned to her with an annoyed expression. "What, think I'll just snap or something?"

"Yes," she said bluntly.

"Well, _peasant_," he snarled, "I won't. I have too many things to lose."

"Like what?" She put her hands on her hips.

"Like…" his face suddenly smoothed out in an unreadable expression. "Like you." Before she knew it, he was leaning in…the sword was yanked from his hand and held to his neck.

"You have three seconds to get away from my sister. One, two…"


	21. Will You?

Drabble Soup For The Zutarian Soul

Will You?

"Katara?" He looked in, surprised she was still here in the apartment. Something in him had assumed she'd be out exploring the depths of Ba Sing Se on a day like this. But still, it was nice to know that he could ask her, unrestrained.

"Yes?" She was sewing something. "Need something?"

"Will you go to dinner with me?"

Oh! How stupid he'd been, asking her on a date, and everything just got stupider by the second…but he liked her so, and surely she wouldn't just blow him off – and of course she returned the feelings; it was only natural…yes, yes! He was certain now - just look at those eyes, those gentle, expressive eyes…

"Nah."

A/n: Why do I pick on Zuko? Cause he's just so darn cute. XD


	22. Dear Diary

Drabble Soup For The Zutarian Soul

Dear Diary

_Dear Diary,_ wrote Katara, _I can't believe Zuko! He tried to get my attention by of all the stupid things in the world, staging a fight with Toph. What is it with guys and fights? As if his winning a (fake) fight with a blind girl (even Toph) would make him seem macho._

_Love, Katara_

_P.S. Zuko lost._

A/n: Playing with the Diary idea. Probably part of a set.


	23. But Wait, There's More!

Drabble Soup For The Zutarian Soul

But Wait, There's More!

"What's everyone laughing at?" Katara rose up on her toes to catch a glimpse of a pale face. "Oh."

Zuko Agni was always finding some way to cause a stir. Once he had bought out the school vendor's ice cream and given them away. Now he was wearing a barcode sticker on his forehead.

"Hey, Katara." He grinned down at her, and she felt her insides boil with irritation. He pointed to the sticker - $49.95. "I cost more than you do."

She gave him a mocking smile and pushed past him.

"I'm priceless."

A/n: This happened to me. Except it wasn't Zuko (-sniff-) it was a redheaded guy. And I don't think the price was $49.95.


	24. The Kiss of Life

Drabble Soup For The Zutarian Soul

The Kiss of Life

She'd always had a bottom locker. And it _sucked_.

There was a _thud_ as the corner of the above locker hit her in the head, _again._

"Ow." Katara rubbed her crown tenderly.

"Oh, gods, I'm sorry." A pale face peered down at her apologetically. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, it's okay."

"That sounded like it hurt." Zuko scrunched up his face.

"It did. But, I'm not bleeding, so…"

"Are you _sure_ you're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"You're not bleeding, are you?"

"No."

"Do you need CPR?"

She raised an eyebrow, and he raised his hands in defense. "_I'm_ not going to give you CPR, but I'll find someone to do it…"

She sighed and, gathering up her things, sped to her next class.

A/n: Yet another incident in Kitty's Very Routine Life. Not word for word, of course.

Yup, that's about as close as I've ever gotten to being kissed. It wouldn't have been too bad either, getting CPR from that certain person… ;)


	25. Common Courtesy

Drabble Soup For The Zutarian Soul

Common Courtesy

"Zuko!" Katara thwapped him upside the head.

"Ow!" he cried, instinctively raising a hand to rub his sore crown. "What was that for?"

"Have you no common courtesy?" she complained.

"I don't know." Even after they'd been married three years, he still wasn't sure how to respond to her rhetoric.

"Would it _kill_ you to put the seat down?!"


	26. Wedding Invitations

Drabble Soup For The Zutarian Soul

Wedding Invitations

"I can't believe this," Sokka muttered. "I can't believe this."

"What is it, Sokka?" queried the elderly woman, sitting in the middle of the hut and watching her grandson with concern.

"We've gotten an invitation," said Sokka, waving the scroll he held open in his hand, "to Katara's wedding." He handed it to Gran-Gran.

"Oh, my…"

* * *

"We got a reply!" shrieked Katara giddily, tugging on her fiancé's shirt sleeve. He had been brooding in his office, hiding from the Palace's noblemen who were still upset at the engagement. 

"The fifteenth one in fifteen minutes," he replied wearily.

"But this one is from my brother," she said, pouting a little. "Let's read it. Please?"

One look at his fiancée's face convinced him. "Fine."

It read as follows:

_Dear Katara,_

_Sokka was surprised to hear about your engagement, as was I. I say congratulations. We'll be at the wedding to __make sure that bastard dies a horrible, painful death - I mean,__ wish you good luck in your future._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Gran-Gran_

"Gran-Gran _so_ did not write that," concluded Katara.

"No," Zuko agreed.


	27. Well, Are You?

Drabble Soup For The Zutarian Soul

Well, Are You?

Zuko was going to propose.

He'd already made an engagement gift; a thin band of silk with a stone carved in imitation of the typical Water Tribe betrothal necklace. He'd planned to surprise her at her favorite tea shop, which, ironically, was the one he'd first worked at in Ba Sing Se.

So when he knelt down in front of her, fumbling to pull the necklace from his pocket, he did _not_ expect Katara to ask the question she did.

"Are you gay?"

Zuko blinked. "What?"

She blushed. "I know it's a little sudden, since we've been…you know…for six months, but…are you gay?"

"No," said Zuko slowly. "Where did you get that idea?"

"I don't know. It's probably just because you chased Aang so much –"

"To restore my honor."

"Yes." Katara sighed and laced her fingers together. 'But, I mean, think about it. It just seems so logical. Your hair is in a ponytail, and it's _way_ too pretty for a straight guy."

There was a pregnant silence in which Zuko wished he would die.

On the spot.

"And," continued Katara, "you took my necklace. I don't know how, but you had it."

"As collateral!" protested the suddenly frustrated prince.

"And your clothes are _just_ like Azula's. It's like you stole them from her closet or something. And those knee boots are _really_ nice. Too nice for a prince, if you ask me."

Zuko gaped at her.

"So, well, are you?"

"I AM _NOT_ GAY!" The prince rose and stalked out of the restaurant.

Katara frowned at his retreating form. "You dropped your necklace!"


	28. Dramatic

Drabble Soup for the Zutarian Soul

Dramatic

"So there I was, battling Azula. She was starting to separate energies to create lightning when I –"

"Zuko –"

"– crawled over the brace and grabbed a hold of her hair –"

"Zuko –"

"– and she starts _screaming_ like I was _killing_ her –"

"ZUKO!"

"– even though we were just playing a game."

"I know what you mean about sisters. Katara's always been the exact same way –"

"– but not evil –"

"– nah. Not evil."

Katara had finally had enough. "Zuko! I'm _trying_ to _talk_ here!" she squealed in frustration, stamping her foot.

"Geez. You could be more dramatic about it," Zuko retorted.

"…was that sarcasm?"


End file.
